The Republican party’s nomination of Donald Trump represents a number of major-party firsts: first billionaire nominated, first reality show host nominated, first candidate to question his predecessor’s US citizenship nominated.
But he’s also the first nominee of either party to have gotten a proper Comedy Central roast. Trump’s was filmed March 9, 2011, and aired on the 15th, and it was about as brutal as you’d expect. Here are some of the most vicious insults flung his way that night.
1) Snoop Dogg: “Donald says he wants to run for president and move on into the White House. Why not? It wouldn’t be the first time you pushed a black family out of their home.”
2) Anthony Jeselnik: “Donald, you’ve got a great sense of humor. You’ve been so happy to embarrass yourself on Saturday Night Live and the casino business.”
3) Larry King: “Donald Trump, without a doubt, you’re a New York landmark. Which means it’s only a matter of time before you bulldoze yourself to build some gaudy, tacky monstrosity, and put your name on it.”
4) Anthony Jeselnik: “You know, Donald Trump is such a douchebag that if you look up the word douchebag in the dictionary, there’s a picture of Spencer Pratt. But if you look close, Spencer Pratt is holding up a picture of Donald Trump.”
5) Seth MacFarlane: “For all of his self-starter bullshit, he’s basically Jaden Smith with a combover.”
6) Lisa Lampanelli: “You’ve ruined more models’ lives than bulimia. You’ve disappointed more women than Sex and the City 2.”
7) Seth MacFarlane: “Let’s get our first roaster up here to knock you down like the homeless shelter you had destroyed on the way here.”
8) Gilbert Gottfried: “As a developer, Donald Trump has done so much damage to the New York skyline that instead of calling him The Donald, they should call him the 20th hijacker.”
9) Seth MacFarlane: “Tonight we honor a self-made millionaire. He started with nothing, worked hard, and made a fortune. That man is Fred Trump, Donald’s dad.”
10) Larry King: “Donald Trump is not only one of my oldest, dearest friends, he’s also an American success story. When he graduated college, he put his shoulder to the wheel, nose to the grindstone … borrowed $6 million from his father, and started a career.”
11) Seth MacFarlane: “Donald, as long as I have you here, it’s pronounced ‘huge,’ not ‘eyuge.’ And here’s another one, it’s pronounced ‘I am fucking delusional,’ not ‘I am running for president.’”
