Vox Sentences: Please do not stay up waiting for Nevada caucus results. We’re serious.

Obama's Guantanamo plan isn't really a plan, per se; the Nevada Republican caucus will be a mess; a big candy recall in Europe.

TOP NEWS

A "solid 'meh'"

Joe Raedle/Getty Images

• The White House submitted a "plan" for closing the Guantanamo Bay detention facility to Congress Tuesday. But it's less a "plan" than a wish list for what the WH would do if it could.

  [Vox / Zack Beauchamp]

• The problem: Congress has prohibited the White House from transferring Gitmo detainees onto American soil, and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has already indicated the new plan doesn't change that.

  [Reuters / Jeff Mason and Ayesha Rascoe]

• This means Obama faces the same question on closing Gitmo as he has on basically everything else in his second term: Is this important enough to use executive action to bypass Congress?

  [Politico / Nick Gass]

• If not — and at this point, you should assume not — the bigger problem, of the US government detaining people indefinitely, will be punted to a third president.

  [Time / Benjamin H. Friedman]

• The reaction of the people who actually work at Camp X-Ray sums it up: "a solid 'meh.'"

  [BuzzFeed News / Ali Watkins]

The GOP and the Calamity Caucus

David Calvert/Getty Images

• Nevada's Republican caucus is tonight. No one knows what will happen (especially not the relatively hapless Nevada Republican Party).

  [Politico / Elena Schneider]

• Will Donald Trump win his third primary in a row — and build on his success in the state in 2012, when his late endorsement helped boost Mitt Romney to victory?

  [NYT / Alexander Burns]

• Will Ted Cruz's strategy of quietly mobilizing the state's conservative officials to build on frustration with the moderate Republican governor pay off?

  [Politico Magazine / Ben Wofford ]

• Or will the Las Vegas Review-Journal, owned by Sheldon Adelson — which loves Marco Rubio so much it endorsed him twice — prove that print still matters?

  [Las Vegas Review-Journal]

• We will not know until early Wednesday morning. At best. Possibly Wednesday afternoon.

  [Jon Ralston via Twitter]

• This is thanks to a seat-of-their-pants vote counting operation that involves, no kidding, volunteers writing down the vote totals and then taking cellphone pictures of them to send to headquarters.

  [Wall Street Journal / Reid J. Epstein and Alexandra Berzon]

• What do you expect from a state that gets so little respect that few of the candidates can even pronounce it correctly? (Confidential to Nevada from Dara: I feel you.)

  [ABC News]

It's all fun-size until...

Matt Cardy/Getty Images

• Mars has recalled fun-size candy bars in 56 countries — not including the US, but including most of Europe, as well as Southeast Asia.

  [BBC]

• The recall was launched after a woman found a piece of red plastic in a Snickers bar. Since, in the words of a spokesperson, "we cannot be sure that this plastic was only in that particular Snickers," Mars now has to recall all of them.

  [Reuters / Maria Shearan and Martinne Geller]

• It's unlikely that this will reach Chipotle or VW levels of scandal, however, especially because (as one analyst says) "the foreign object is relatively benign."

  [The Guardian / Ben Quinn, Sarah Butler, and Rebecca Smithers]

• In other WTF-is-wrong-with-Europe's-candy news, a woman in Britain wants a lifetime supply of KitKat bars because she once received one without a wafer in it.

  [New York Daily News / Christopher Brennan]

• This is all absurd, because no one in Britain should be eating global candy brands anyway. You have such good domestic chocolate! Savor it!

  [BuzzFeed / Dan Oshinsky]

MISCELLANEOUS

Kofi Annan makes the case for decriminalizing drugs. [Der Spiegel / Kofi Annan]

• If you haven't seen The Prestige in a while, this in-depth analysis of a crucial scene will send you scrambling back.

  [AV Club / Mike D'Angelo]

• Mississippi's foster care system is such a disaster that a court might order an outside group to take it over.

  [NYT / Emily Palmer and Campbell Robertson]

• Amanda Marie Ellison was the subject of a famous 1990 photograph, in which she's smoking in a kiddie pool at age 9. What happened after the cameras were gone?

  [NPR / Chris Benderev]

• College raises incomes — but it raises them a lot less if you grow up poor.

  [Brookings / Brad Hershbein]

VERBATIM

"My first exposure to protected sex discourse came from a fic in which Ron and Harry dive for the Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Condoms." [BuzzFeed / Chelsey Pippin]

• "Today, only around 20 percent of Americans ages 18–29 are wed, compared to nearly 60 percent in 1960."

  [NY Mag / Rebecca Traister]

• "Step Brothers suggests that maybe the traditional stories we tell ourselves of love and growth and nurture and maturity aren’t really what families and lives are about, that maybe the real stories are of obstinacy and grudges and fear of change and inarticulate rage and pain."

  [Slate / Jack Hamilton]

• "The Vice President is frequently described as 'ideological,' or 'strongly conservative,' but little in his history suggests the intellectual commitment implicit in either."

  [NY Review of Books / Joan Didion]

• "'Splain': … This suffix, once so useful, has fallen into a tar pit of sophistry and nonsense. How did this happen, and why? The people demand a splainsplanation."

  [Slate / Katy Waldman]

WATCH THIS

The state of gun violence in the US, explained in 18 charts [YouTube / Joss Fong]

Vox / Joss Fong

CORRECTION: The Traister quote from New York Magazine has since been corrected; the above sentence has been updated accordingly.